They say the first times the worst
by jaurenrichpez
Summary: Sirius Black's POV -inspired by time-of-marauders-rp on tumblr-
1. Chapter 1

They say the first time's the worst, but I beg to differ. They were all the worst.

~John and Mary~

"Alright Mare and Johnny boy," He pointed to the pair of them, " Take middle." Sirius said motioning down the corridor. "James and I will take Left, Frank and Alice you guys have Right." He hated the fact that they were splitting up. In his gut he knew it was an awful idea. If anyone died Sirius would blame it on himself. Even if it wasn't his fault, it was just the way it worked. Luckily, although with much fighting, James and he had managed to keep both Lily and Marlene home. They still weren't sure how they did it but they managed to trick two, head strong, selfless girls into thinking of their own safety for once.

Sirius gazed around at the faces of the people he'd known his whole life. People he's come to love as brothers and sisters. They were a family. No matter what kind of war was going on, they were together. But that tiny sliver of doubt in his mind crept up. _What if you don't see them again? It could all be you're fault. _It taunted, and drove Sirius near insanity. He choked up, but he wouldn't allow himself to be seen crying. So he mustered up as much strength as he could and spoke to the group again, "Never leave your partner, they are your life line!" It wasn't exactly necessary to say this, considering John would never leave Mary and vice versa. Same went for Alice and Frank and there was no way in hell Sirius would leave James. They all simultaneously nodded in agreement and turned to their respected partners. Not much was said, but the aurora in the room was radiating love. Just John and Mary alone were staring into each other's eyes with enough passion to melt the North Pole. "Be safe." He finished and headed down the dark, gloomy corridor with James in tow.

If he had expected anything, this surely wasn't it. Or maybe he had his hopes far too high; maybe he had expected to run in and out in a matter of minutes, mission complete. But as soon as they pushed the large brass doors open, the room they entered was already erupted in chaos. Wizards were running around, dodging spells just barely, and the fallen lay on the floor. A jet of red flew just past Sirius' ear, cutting some of his hair off. But he hardly payed any attention to that. He saw his target just across the run and ran full sprint to it. Sirius waved back at his partner in tacit compliance that he would keep guard.

"BELA!" Sirius screeched upon arriving at the copper bars. She was weak, lying in a heap on the dusty floor; blood was pouring from her multiple cuts. The worst one being placed just above her eyebrow. He cursed to himself and with a flick of his wand, removed the bars. Sirius gathered her in his arms and stepped back out into the heap of chaos. He saw the messy black hair take down a death eater and Sirius called loudly. "PRONGS!" When James neared, as gently as he could, Sirius placed Bela into James' arms. "Take her back, I'll get the others." And with that he was off into another sprint.

He rounded the corner and instantly collided with another body. While still on the floor, Sirius whipped out his wand prepared for the oncoming battle. He slightly smiled when he realized it wasn't a foe, but was actually Frank and Alice. They seemed disheveled but still intact. He hoisted himself up from the ground. "John and Mary?" And with those three words they raced towards their assigned corridor.

It was as if time froze. The doors cracked open into the landscape of the wide room. John and Mary's wands went flying at the flick of Yaxley's wand. In that moment they basically radiated the words _I love you _without speaking a word. Still linked by holding hands, they tried to turn and run, while Sirius, Alice and Frank ran towards them still a little in shock. Yaxley's smirk grew wider and with a final flick of his wand, they fell. Still hand in hand, lying together. Sirius tried to run towards Yaxley, in a fit of rage, but Frank held him back and forced Sirius into an apparition. He felt the tug then the ground beneath his feet. They couldn't…they just couldn't! He repeated to himself. Not even bothering to try and make it to a couch or such, he fell on the floor in a slump. They just couldn't.


	2. Chapter 2

They say the first time's the worst, but I beg to differ. They were all the worst.

~Marlene McKinnon~

It was another sleepless night. He couldn't help but think or try to think of ways to keep James and Lily safe. He knew Peter would never tell, but why was he still so…uneasy? He dawdled with the ring on his finger which he often did when he was off in thought. How had this all happened? What happened to Hogwarts' first years? Where all they had to worry about was their next class. And even then he didn't exactly worry about class. Yet, the worst blow was his own brother. His own brother…was a death eater! He knew it was most likely his parents persuasion but still, how could Regulus turn like that? Sure they'd had their fights but it just wasn't right. It felt like betrayal.

The beautiful brunette next to him shifted and sat up. "Siri what's wrong?" She rubbed her eyes that already shown with concern. He couldn't help but smile, she was so…there weren't even words to describe how amazing she was. He sighed and sat so he was facing her, "I just… How did it get like this?" He asked yearning for an answer. He wouldn't be able to sleep until he knew an answer. Something, anything would do! He saw the color slowly drain from her face, it bothered her too. Her best friend had a one year old son who couldn't even get out of the house!

"I wish I had an answer." She stood slowly, still a little wobbly from her last encounter with death eaters. "I'll be right back." And with that she headed out the door and to the kitchen. Sirius lay back down. He knew she was worried, her family had been getting in a lot of trouble considering almost all the McKinnon's had defied Voldemort and his followers, they were surely in jeopardy. But stubborn Marlene hid everyone...but herself. She already had been taken twice! Almost killed both times but Sirius had come in the nick of time. He would do anything for her, yet she wouldn't do anything for herself. Didn't she know that if she died a part of him would die with her?

This wasn't supposed to be this way! Weren't they supposed to kiss, ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after or something? They weren't supposed to be scared, or being hunted like animals. It wasn't supposed to be this way!

Just then he heard a glass shatter and the pop of apparition. Ever since he had joined the order any little noise set him on edge and made him think something bad was happening. "No!" he screamed on instinct and hopped out of the bed and raced into the kitchen. The broken cup lay shattered on the floor and just next to it was a letter with 3 words.

He scanned over it once, Without thinking for another minute he knew what it meant. The McKinnons were being taken down, and impulsive Marlene had headed straight into what must be there trap! He focused as hard as he could, head still pounding, on the McKinnon house. He felt the tug of apparition, the spinning and finally the landing on his feet in a familiar yard.

Just like with John and Mary timed slowed. Sirius turned around to the beautiful voice of his fiancée, who's wand was raised towards Travers, the death eater. "Siri, I'm fi-" he knew what she was going to say. Her signature line. I'm fine. But he could see the tears in her eyes, and if his eyes were shifted he could see her brother on the floor, with a vacant expression. Sirius began running before she could finish her sentence, he needed to reach her, he'd only feel she was safe once she was in his arms but, fate was against him. As it always was. Just as Marlene finished with "ne!", a split second after, Travers smirked, flicked his wand up, obviously taunting Sirius that Marlene was oblivious to the threat behind her and yelled, "AVADA KEDAVRA!" With that the green light enveloped her and she fell with a thud. Her brown hair was covering her face but he could still recognize the familiar look of defiance whenever someone tried to help her. But he didn't focus on that now. He wanted blood. And he wanted Travers blood. His reason for everything was on the floor, not moving, not breathing because of him. He whipped his wand out but he was too late with another arrogant smile Travers apparated. Sirius fell to floor where Travers was a minute ago, pounding the wet grass.

Maybe this was a trick, some sick joke. Marlene would pop up and laugh and say "Really scared you didn't I?" and do her famous wink and together they'd go home, somewhat happy. He crawled over to her leaving his wand behind him. He didn't care! he didn't care about anything! All he cared, all he EVER cared about was her! He cursed himself. If she had never met him maybe she wouldn't have met this fate. If he hadn't come maybe she'd have defeated Travers and she'd still be alive. It was his fault. He had basically killed the only girl he'd ever loved. Sirius brushed the hairs off of her face and for the first time since he was young, cried. "marls your okay, your alright!" His voice was shaky and not at all convincing. He was more trying to convince himself more than anything.

She still wouldn't move.


End file.
